Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
