I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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