I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
