Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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