Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
