Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
last night I used snow as a chaser
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
