i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
