The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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