what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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