So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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