You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
