i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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