Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
