apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
This is the prime rib incident all over again
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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