hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
