You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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