I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
