Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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