I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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