just come out here and I will go home with you...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
