So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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