Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize