erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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