WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
