Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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