we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
