im drinking this country out of the recession.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
