So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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