tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
