quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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