Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
