Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize