don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I could fuck to npr.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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