I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize