Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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