This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
