did you get engaged???
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
