do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we're making bets on your personal life
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
