so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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