Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
