I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize