Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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