wat bout pragnant strippers??
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
