Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
