dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
