whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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