i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
