Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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