I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
sex in a hospital.. check
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
