i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
