dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
