i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
