You're so nebulous sometimes
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
