Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
