Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He felt like a one man threesome
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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