hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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