this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
