The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
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