return my video game
420 ftw
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
