I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
