you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You don't make any sense
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