butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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