you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
