Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
