I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
