whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
